Smite That Fear and WRITE THE STORY

 


In just one week NaNo Plotting Month (a.k.a October) begins…

*PANICS AND FREAKS OUT*

Ahem. Just had to get that out of the way.

No clue what on this blue earth I’m talkin’ about? (“Blue earth” makes so much more sense to me than “green earth”. Hello? The earth is 70% water and only like…20-40% grass. So why is the expression “what on this green earth?” hmmmm??? #Tangent) “NaNo” is short for “NaNoWriMo” which, in turn, is short of “National Novel Writing Month”. NaNo takes place every November and is an event where writers all around the world try to write 50k words in one month. It’s my favorite thing on the planet and if you want to join in you can find the website and all info HERE.

If you’re participating in NaNoWriMo this year, you’re most likely trying to decide what you’ll actually be spending your entire November crying over writing. Or, even if you’re not doing NaNo, you’ve still experienced the struggle of choosing that next writing project. All writers have to go through it. This is the writer’s life. And choosing which story to spend the next months? years? decades??? on and pour our time and energy and entire hearts into is no light matter.

Trust me, I’ve anguished over this. About a month ago I was literally losing sleep trying to decide what to write for NaNoWriMo. And a couple of years ago I made the decision to actually get serious about my writing, which meant the next book I write was the one I was going to stick with and edit and pursue publishing with. Which meant…I had to actually decide what book I was willing to work so hard on. No pressure or anything! Eheheheh…heh…*cue existential crisis*

During this time of decision, the ugly faces of Doubt and Fear like best to leap out of the shadows and poke your brain while laughing maniacally, as they do.


“What if this is a stupid story idea?” Doubt whispers.
“What if you’re unable to make it perfect?” Fear sneers.

Perfectionism runs rampant in the writing community. After all, we have these wildly amazing ideas running through our brains that we fall head-over-heels for and then when it comes to putting ideas into actual words… WHAT R WERDS? HOW DO I WRITE THIS???

I personally feel like it’s especially tricky with NaNoWriMo, because you’re choosing to write something within the span of just 30 days, while with my other stories I usually take 4-6 months and write them more carefully.



For a while, I had 3 or 4 story ideas to write for NaNo, most of them things I’ve been wanting to write for a while. But then the very same reason I’ve been putting them off this long reared its head: Because I want them to be just right. Which meant I couldn’t write any of them for NaNoWriMo especially. My NaNo novels are so messyyyy. I’m throwing them together in only 30 days after all! I can’t write my beloved story ideas now. I love them too much! They must be PERFECT. But what if I can’t make any of them perfect? What if I get it all wrong? What if I butcher the whole thing? I better not ever write any of these stories at all ‘cause I’m gonna ruin them and and and—

STAHP.

No, no, no, no. That’s just letting Doubt and Fear win. Which is the worst feeling ever. But we do it. I know *I* do it. I let my fear and perfectionism stop me all. the. time. How stupid is that?

If there is a story idea that you love, you should absolutely, 100% WRITE IT. After all, no one else is going to. Sure, there may be stories similar to your idea, but they won’t be your story. The way you imagined it.

Yes, the closer to your heart the story is, the more Fear will assault you, the more you’ll want it just right.

But here’s the thing: If you love a story that much, you’ll be willing to use the amount of time it takes to make it perfect. If it’s that close to your heart, you’re going to drain every last bit of energy and love you have to shaping it into the best it can be.

For a bit there, I was thinking I should just write any ol’ random thing for NaNoWriMo. Simply something that wasn’t close to my heart so I wouldn’t mind it turning into a mess.

Are you rolling your eyes and shaking your head at my nonsense? Because I’m rolling my eyes and shaking my head at my nonsense.

We should not settle on spending hours and hours and hours on a story we don’t care much about because, after all, what does it matter if it turns out messy? Noooo. What a waste of time and energy!

If we’re going to write a story, it should be BECAUSE WE LOVE IT AND WANT TO GIVE IT LIFE. We should be writing the stories that make us get up in the morning out of utter excitement to return to our storyworld and characters. The stories that make us come alive. The ones that runs through our veins and gets our hearts pumping and drives us forward every day out of sheer love for them. The ones that force us to push back the doubts and fears and stress and headaches, and just keep writing no matter what because our desire to bring these stories to life are stronger than any of those things.

JUST WRITE THE STORY IDEA THAT YOU LOVE.

I know you’ve probably heard this 7 billion times, but I’m going to say it anyway: FIRST DRAFTS DON’T SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT.

This may sound harsh, but it needs to be said. You can’t make a first draft just right. Writing simply doesn’t work that way. Edits will always need to be made. BUT. The only way to make that story you love “just right” is to first let it exist. And the only way for it to exist is for you to WRITE IT. I saw a quote somewhere that said all first drafts have to do is exist, and that was so inspiring. Because it’s true. However messy and wrong and crazy and riddled with typos and plot holes it comes out, it doesn’t matter. Because that’s the first step to creating the story of your heart.

If you have a story you want told, then tell it. JUST DO IT.



I spent the last 7 NaNoWriMos writing a 7-book epic fantasy series and, my word, the disaster those books are. You can’t even imagine the mess I made with them. They’re something akin to letting a dozen toddlers loose in a room full of open paint cans—you know, a mess so large and unimaginable you just want to curl up and cry at the thought of trying to clean it all up. But do I regret writing each of those books? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I love that series. It’s very close to my heart. And though by the time I rewrite each book they probably won’t even resemble these first drafts, I still have a basis. Without those first drafts, I wouldn’t have a story to get “just right”. I wouldn’t know where I was going or who the characters were or what needs fixing or how to tell the actual story. Those unreadable first drafts were vital to turning my Colors of a Dragon Scale series into something worth reading one day. The first drafts will never, ever be “just right”, no matter how meticulously we write them. I wrote the first draft of Burning Thorns very slowly and carefully, and it still needs tons of edits. But the first draft HAS to be written. Don’t hold yourself back merely for perfectionism’s sake. (Sheesh, this very blog post went through 3 majorly changed drafts before it got to what you’re reading now. But you wouldn’t be reading it now if I hadn’t first messily wrote down all my thoughts.)

We HAVE to push aside the fear and just write the stories that are calling to us.

It took weeks, months perhaps, of hemming and hawing, but I finally settled on what I’m going to write for NaNo. Of course, then the doubts came. Because the more I thought about the story, and the more ideas I got, the more excited I was. Which also meant the more fearful I became of totally ruining this cool idea.

Like I said, the more we love a story, the more fearful we became.

But you know what? I’m going to write that story! And then when it’s time to revise it and I find it is a total, horrible mess and all my fears came true, well, I’ll just edit it until it is the story I want to be. But I can’t turn it into that without first writing it.

(And no, I’m not telling you what it is just yet. *CACKLES* But don’t worry, I’ll be talking alll about it come October. In fact, from now until like…Christmas, you’ll probably only be getting NaNo-themed posts from me. What can I say, I’M OBSESSED. IT’S WHO I AM. By the end of it you’re most likely going to be sick of hearing about my story and NaNo. *griiins*)

So if you’re wanting to write a story you love but are holding yourself back for fear of ruining it…STOP.

Take your pen and smite that fear back into the shadows where it belongs and WRITE THE STORY.

You won’t regret it. I promise you that.

I’ll leave you with my absolute favorite writing quote:


“I’m writing a first draft and reminding myself that I’m simply shoveling sand into a box so that later I can build castles.” –Shannon Hale

Write bravely, my friends!
 

Tell me, O’ Writerlings, do you let fear of not getting your stories “just right” hold you back? Do you take any specific measures to violently attack that fear away and show it who’s boss??? Come, let’s band together and help each other write the stories of our hearts, fearless and unashamed!

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Florid Sword
September 25, 2017 4:38 PM

That's it, Christine! You tell that fear and doubt! You can do this! I haven't actually decided what I'm writing for NaNo yet, simply because I'm not sure that I'll have time to do it. *sobs* But… if I do it, I know exactly which idea I'm doing it with. (Hint: unfortunately, it'll probably be editing…)

Skye Hoffert
September 25, 2017 4:49 PM

Your posts always get me so excited to write! I love it!
I love your Nano posts, so I guess I am going to enjoy all your Nano things.
You are going to kill it!

Mary Horton
September 25, 2017 5:04 PM

SPOT. ON.

CHRISTINE OUR BRAINS ARE SO RELATED!! Recently, I've really been putting off writing things (my Rooglewood Press story *cough, cough*) because they just don't feel RIGHT and if I write them,THEY'RE GOING TO BE A MESS AND I'LL RUIN THEM. *cue mental breakdown* Buuuuut…why? Why would that make me afraid? I mean, every other first draft I've written is a crazy mess and I still L O V E them, with all their flaws and holes and bruises. (They're very injured, poor dears. XD)

It's just the WORST when fear and doubt plague my mind. I'm the world's most inconsistent writer (I've only written like…three times this month o.O) and when I see other people with their fancy writing schedules and alllllll their finished novels…it makes me doubt if I'm a "real writer." 'Cause, c'mon, REAL writers write all. the. time. So that means I'm not a real writer, obviously. #brainlogic

UGH OKAY NO. This is something I'm learning constantly…and constantly forgetting to apply. 😛 I'm still a real writer–my schedule doesn't change that. My heart truly craves for stories, bleeds over every page I write. STORIES ARE A PART OF ME. And I can't live without telling them. THAT'S what makes a writer "real."

ANYWAY. Now you know you're not the only one who goes on crazy long tangents. XD (I feel like 90% of my comments on here are me talking to myself, lol.) You're so, SO right about knocking that fear and doubt out and just WRITING. It's something I need to always tell myself! Those story ideas I get can only be told by me…even if they start in the form of a messy, typo-filled first draft. 🙂 (ALSO. THAT QUOTE YOU INCLUDED AT THE END IS MY FAAAAAVE. I actually have it on my wall above my writing desk!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS POST. <3333

(OH. I wanted to tell you! Today is the two-year anniversary of the day we "met"!!! I commented on your bookshelf tour waaaaay back in 2015. I'm just like…amazed at the fact that we've been friends that long! I can't imagine a life now without my dear Lauri! Thank you so much for your wonderful friendship and for the way you made me feel like I belonged in the blogosphere. Your blog was the first one I commented on, and you made me feel so LOVED and at home. Just…THANK YOU, DARLING. Love ya!!! <3)

Farm Lassie
September 25, 2017 5:30 PM

AHHH I love that writing quote about the sandbox. Literally just used that last night as I was talking to my writing buddy about our drafting woes.

I do have a really bad perfectionist streak. I'm guilty of editing before I finish drafting.
Honestly, writing with a playlist seems to help – especially if I don't put the songs on repeat to finish the scene. I'll have to test that theory out more….

Catherine
catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com

Deborah O'Carroll
September 25, 2017 5:39 PM

YES. IT'S SO HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO WRITE NEXT. For NaNo and just for everyday. So. Hard. I relate to this SO MUCH.

(Related to said tangent, "on this blue earth" makes sense if you think of earth as a planet that's mostly water. If you're talking about the actual EARTH part of earth, a.k.a. the ground/dirt, which is actually what earth means, then the "green" makes sense because of grass/trees. XD Those of us who look at globes a lot would think of it as blue, but I betcha when that expression began, it meant the earth we see around us. ^_^ #alsoTangent)

4-6 months to write a book? SUPERHUMANSPEED. *coughcoughcough* *takes about three centuries to write a book*

Aaanyway, I love this post and it's perfect timing because literally last night I decided what I think I'll work on this NaNo, and your post hoooopefully will help me stay firm in that idea. XD

Existing. Nice. I think I needed that…

(Those dozen toddlers with the paint sound like all the charries from CoaDS. XDDD)

"If we’re going to write a story, it should be BECAUSE WE LOVE IT AND WANT TO GIVE IT LIFE. We should be writing the stories that make us get up in the morning out of utter excitement to return to our storyworld and characters. The stories that make us come alive. The ones that runs through our veins and gets our hearts pumping and drives us forward every day out of sheer love for them. The ones that force us to push back the doubts and fears and stress and headaches, and just keep writing no matter what because our desire to bring these stories to life are stronger than any of those things." <–This is beautiful and I needed it and thank you.

Thanks for this inspiring post! ^_^ I always love your postsssss! <3 (And NaNo ones are always cool, so no worries there. ;))

Deborah O'Carroll
September 26, 2017 12:35 AM

Erm… so… I'm giving it a day to settle and see if I'm ACTUALLY writing it for NaNo. XD So I didn't actually say. 😡 But you won't be surprised because I've pretty much been planning on it, kind of, for awhile now, just… not official. I'm going to see if it sticks this week and by the time October hits hopefully I'll know for SURE. 😀

Airen would probably climb up a wall and start painting the ceiling, and dripping paint in rainbow colors on certain other characters, and Eryth would shake her head and Bryth would try to avoid the shower and not be able to, and probably climb up after him and confiscate his paintbrush. While Naidren just curls into the corner like stahp, shaking his head. And Nyria starts swinging around the room on a special swing for painters to sit on, and so Airen retreats and starts going down a ladder just as Eryth is climbing up the other side of it and they meet halfway and look at each other and smile. 😀

Jameson C. Smith
September 25, 2017 6:13 PM

Ah, yes. NaNo prep season is upon us and I am woefully underprepared. *nervous laughter*

"The only way to make that story you love “just right” is to first let it exist. And the only way for it to exist is for you to WRITE IT." <– YES. THIS. I'm going to put that on a note and stick it near my desk.

This phase of fear and doubt always happens after I finish a draft and I like to think I'm getting better at handling it? Which usually means avoiding all writing projects for at least a week and watching a lot of TV. It works. Sometimes. Anywaaaaay…it's challenging not to question everything and overthink, but having a finished draft means digging in and finding the good stuff. Like you said, it's a little less fear-inducing to have a draft full of potential than a story idea that never gets written at all—especially if it's a story that really WANTS to be written. Even if they turn out completely different than planned, they'll exist on paper and can be shaped into something great! Even the messiest of drafts has something good in it!

Eeep! I can't wait to hear about your NaNo project!

Aimee Meester
September 25, 2017 9:29 PM

I've always been a HUGE supporter of the idea of just writing the thing, you know? A lot of time people go over how they need to pick the RIGHT story and I just feel like…if you like the idea of the story, why not go for it? Especially with something like NaNo, where you're not EXPECTED to turn out an excellent draft, you know? When it comes to NaNo I pick a fun idea and just go with it, most of the time. Sometimes it's good, sometimes I #regret it later, but it's always fun times. *nodnod*

Feels Like Hope

Sarah Elizabeth
September 26, 2017 2:22 AM

TT_TT This is BEAUTIFUL! It's like a call to arms!!! Amen. LOVE ALL THE WERDS

Katie Grace
September 26, 2017 3:44 AM

YESS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I only have a vague idea of what I want to write for NaNo, and already there's so much fear: "but what if I can't find a plot? what if I just waste this month on a stupid story?" <— LIES. Because I will obviously learn from the NaNo experience no matter what happens. Ack, Christine. YOU SPEAK SO MUCH TRUTH AND IT CALMS MY SOUL. Thank you for this post and all of your words. <3 <3 <3

katie grace
a writer's faith

Lizzy
September 26, 2017 3:56 PM

Thank you for this wonderful post!!! And thank you for reiterating that rough drafts are just that – ROUGH. Because when I sit down to write a story, I usually don't get very far because I'm constantly re-reading my sentences and basically editing everything one sentence or paragraph at a time. And let me tell you, it makes my writing EXTREMELY slow going. It's hard to just type without looking back. But I think I'm getting better… I've seen gradual improvement over the last few years!

And regarding that little tangent about the "green earth" (which was funny, btw), I always understood it to be referring to the actual earth we stand on – the dirt, the soil. I usually only think of the planet Earth if "earth" is capitalized. If it's not, then I think of dirt, lol. (Upon reading the other comments, I just realized that Deborah O'Carroll said almost exactly the same thing. Oh, well… she and I think alike, I guess!)

I can't wait to learn more about your 2017 NaNo novel! 😀

~Lizzy

Emily
September 26, 2017 6:30 PM

I LOVE that Shannon Hale quote! It's so great. And now I'm second drafting and actually building castles and … gah. You are so right about everything, Christine. Great post!

sparrowsflysouth.blogspot.co.uk

Madeline J. Rose
September 26, 2017 7:50 PM

ACK NANO IS COMING TOO SOON HELP ME. *panics along with you* XD

Aww, this is so encouraging Christine! This really made my day so much happier. I'm working on a new story and this makes me less afraid to begin. It's been taunting me for weeks, but this is just the thing I needed! Thank you so much for sharing this! ^_^

Natalie
October 1, 2017 3:20 AM

LOVE THIS. I'm simultaneously looking forward to and dreading November. Usually I have a rule for myself that I must FINISH writing my current project before starting a new one. Currently I have one book in the editing stage, one in the writing and another one in the writing (almost done!!) stage that kind of slipped in there. It's the backstory for the villain in my novel-that-I'm-editing. It was necessary for character development. *cough* 😉

Anyhow, I think I may go ahead and start a new story for NaNo that I've been itching to write since last winter. I was already leaning towards that choice, but your post definitely pushed me along. ;D

Wow, you've done 7 NaNo's before?? THAT'S FANTASTIC. This is my second. 🙂 (I did Camp NaNo this past April, though.)

BEST WISHES FOR NOVEMBER!!! I can't wait for more of your NaNo posts. 🙂

Natalie
October 2, 2017 4:00 PM
Reply to  Natalie

I honestly didn't plan to have three going at once. Two is my limit. xD But thank you!!!

Good point! NaNo kind of requires something we're "in love" with, like you said in your posts. We need a story that motivates us to keep going. New ones are great for that, I think. 😀

I'M IN AWE OF YOU DOING NANO FOR 8 YEARS!! I'm not sure I could do it that many years in a row. xD

YAY! I'll be checking that out, then. 😉

Victoria Grace Howell
October 2, 2017 6:48 PM

Great post, Christine! I'm a little nervous about this NaNo because I'll be doing it while juggling with a part time job and I'll be writing in a genre I never have before. XD Thanks for the pep talk!

storitorigrace.blogspot.com

Tracey Dyck
October 10, 2017 3:20 PM

To echo everyone else in the comments: I LOVE THIS POST. I'm not doing Nano this year (because college), but choosing a new story can be scary for all the fearful reasons you mentioned. Sheesh, even stories I've been working on for YEARS make me wonder sometimes if I'll ever get them perfect.

This is so timely, because the new Snow White story I'm writing for the Rooglewood contest is very, very imperfect right now. And wanting to meet the deadline while writing exams and studying and working makes it easy to doubt myself. But you're so right–first drafts just have to exist! (Thank God for editing.)

Okay, but now I'm SUUUUPER curious about your Nano project! It's been CoaDS every November for as long as I've known you, so I'm on pins and needles trying to guess what you're choosing this year! 😀

Kate Marie
October 18, 2017 5:22 PM

SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME!!!!

I don't really let the fear take root but… IT'S THERE. It is so very much in the back of my mind WHENEVER I am writing.

I want it to be as perfect, as beautiful, as majestic and unique and original and brilliant as I see it IN MY HEAD.

And it's NOT. When I put it down on paper, it's an ugly mess. Word vomit. Ugh.

I think… as writers, we think "this story will be different!!! When I put pen to paper or hands to keys, it will flow perfectly out just as I imagine it!!!"

Alas… THAT IS NOT TO BE.

Thank you so much for this post, Christine! BECAUSE I CAN RELATE.

Kate Marie
October 22, 2017 2:25 AM
Reply to  Kate Marie

Such is the life of a writer. What was beautiful in our heads will always look ugly on paper. *sob*

EXACTLY. It's just the process of polishing, yes???

:))

Kate Marie
March 19, 2018 12:01 AM
Reply to  Kate Marie

Currently editing my first novel and it's hard but… SO REWARDING. I'm really enjoying myself actually – delving deeper into the characters' personalities and learning more about them and how to implement that into the story. Fun stuff!!!

Olivia
November 9, 2017 11:14 PM

OKAY I NEED TO THANK YOU FOR THIS.

I read this a week or two ago, actually (*ahem* procrastination issues *squirms*), and it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I'm doing NaNo in a way, and I have a lot of concerns related to the story I'm working on, but THIS HELPED SO MUCH AND THANK YOU SO MUCH. <3 <3 <3

It's so encouraging and relaxing to know that JUST WORKING ON IT counts for something. No, of course I won't have it perfect and amazing and exactly like it's supposed to be IN THE FIRST DRAFT, but I can START. And that's important.

So, again, thanks ever so much, mah love. I really appreciate it. <3 *HUGGLES*