Writer: That strange creature who claims to write but in reality spends hours at a time scrolling on Pinterest. Ah yes, we writers always have some shameful confessions about our chosen career path, amiright? WELL. Today I’m going to be spilling the (coffee)beans of some of mine!

Earlier in the year a blog tag was floating all around the writers’ blogosphere that just looked way too much fun to resist. Me being me, I’m arriving some 4 months late to the party. BUT I’M HERE NOW. And ready to revive this delicious tag!

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the “Never Have I Ever” game? WELL. This tag is that but…all about WRITING. That’s right. Today you’re getting the inside scoop of my disastrous writing life.

Huge, huge thanks to my dearest Kenzie bean AND beautiful friend and fellow fairy tale enthusiast Faith White for tagging me!

It’s always so delightful to be tagged so I don’t have to go all pirate and steal tags. Mwahahaha.

You can find where the tag originated from HERE!

THE RULES

• Link to and thank the blogger who tagged you! (Thank you again, Kenzie and Faith! <3)

• Include the graphic somewhere in your post (or make your own!) (Done and done!)
  
  
• Answer the questions truthfully and honestly. (Oh, we ‘bout to get super honest up in here. *rubes hands together*)

• Tag three bloggers (Patience, my dears.)

NEVER HAVE I EVER

. . . started a novel that I did not finish.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAhahahah…ha. Ha.

Ahem.

If there is a writer out there who has finished every single story they’ve ever started, please reveal to me where you get your supply of fairy dust. Surely only magic could cause such a wondrous feat.

So, um, yes. I have many unfinished first drafts piled up sadly in notebooks and the deep, dark recesses of my laptop, probably to never see the light of day. IN MY DEFENSE, when you’ve been writing since you were NINE some stories just…gotta die. I’d say I have probably about half a dozen or so stories that fell to the wayside and shall, most likely, be forever forgotten. Poor little stories, they never had a chance. *wipes tear from eye*

BUT.

These days I veryyyy rarely start a story without finishing the first draft. I’ve gotten much better at only starting stories I actually think have potential and usually don’t let myself get distracted by new shiny ideas until my current WIP is drafted. But again, we’re talkin’ FIRST DRAFTS. Going back and revising is a whoooole different story. *cough, COUGH*

. . . written a story completely by hand.

I HAVE. …When I was much, much younger. (My first ever story was written in a Lisa Frank notebook because #90skid) It’s been over a decade since I accomplished such a feat, but during my early writing days, a notebook and pencil was my go-to method of writing. Alas, those days are passed.

I get hand cramps something fierce when I handwrite now. It’s weird, I can type for hours on end and it doesn’t bother my hands a tiny bit. But literally using a pen for a mere ten minutes? My hand is SCREAMING. I didn’t do this when I was little, but at some point in my late teens handwriting just became more and more painful. No clue why. It is sad, because I do so love the classic pen and paper. (And I still needlessly collect notebooks like nobody’s business because I JUST GOTTA. #stereotypicalwriter)

I’ve actually just recently been desperately missing good ol’ pen and paper though. It’s been SO LONG. Plus I spend way, way too much time staring at my laptop screen. So I’ve been tossing around the idea of trying to handwrite some flash fiction. Because, ya know, they’re SHORT.

. . . changed tenses midway through a story.

Not on purpose, but ooooh yes have I done this accidentally on many occasions. Especially when I’m writing real fast. I’ll go back and find my tenses all over the place and just did my brain get turned off while I was writing this scene??? Probably. And it’s SO WEIRD because I’ve only ever written in past tense? I’ve never done anything but that, so why I sometimes shift to present tense accidentally is beyond me.

Although I haven’t done that in a while so maybe my brain has restarted itself. One can hope.

. . . not researched anything before starting a story.

Did you mean: Every story I’ve ever started?

Who needs research when they can just wildly make stuff up and then cry come revising time at the utter inaccurate nonsense vomited on the page?

. . . changed my protagonist’s name halfway through a draft.

Not halfway through a draft, but I did change my protagonist’s name of one story after writing the first chapter. And another story I changed the protagonist’s name for the second draft.

Usually I stick to character’s names, but there have been a choice few that needed changing. And if I ever go back and revise some earlier works, probably everyone will get name overhauls because wow, what sort of keyboard smash fantasy names are these???

Yeah, I was one of those teenage fantasy writers. >.>

. . . written a story in a month or less.

Helloooo, NaNoWriMo and my utter disregard for my own sanity. ADMITTEDLY, it usually takes me all of November and maybe the first week or two of December to finish my NaNo books BUT I have finished a total of 4 NaNos within the month, if I recall.

My record was finishing a book in 22 days. Because who needs sanity???? Ehehehehehe help me.

And if we’re including short stories/flash fiction, then obviously those just take a couple of days. My Faylinn stories usually take about two days to write, one day to revise.

. . . fallen asleep while writing.

The first question I can actually give a solid NEVER to!

I’m not really one to just fall asleep while doing random tasks. I barely even take naps. Because why sleep when there’s COFFEE? (JK. I actually sleep a lot during the night/morning because my silly body cannot function without a ton of sleep. Pffft. Absurdity.)

. . . corrected someone’s grammar irl / online.

Maaaaybe.

OKAY. I don’t just troll people and correct their grammar, but I totally have done it to my family or jokingly to friends. And I’ve beta-read a ton of stories, so does that count??? I mean, they’re ASKING me to correct their grammar, SO.

Although I feel like it’s more people correcting MY grammar.

Yes, I am a writer. Yes, my grammar is atrocious. Yes, you probably already knew that since you’re reading my blog right now and witnessing the atrocities firsthand, bless you.

. . . yelled in all caps at myself in the middle of a novel.

Bwahahaha! Not usually but you better believe it has absolutely happened. Especially about halfway through NaNo and I’ve spiraled in complete insanity and I just start typing “AND PEOPLE SAID THINGS AND STUFF HAPPENED THE END.” True story.

I always erase it but, ya know, it makes me feel better. A writer’s gotta do what a writer’s gotta do.

. . . used “I’m writing” as an excuse.

Every day??? Of my life???? For the past some dozen years?????

My life pretty much consists of doing writerly things of some kind every day, whether it’s editing, blogging, working on platform stuff, actual writing, researching, YOU KNOW. All the writers’ things. My family hears me say, “But I’ve got so many things to do today!” a lot.

I need help.

. . . killed a character who was based on someone I know in real life.

ACTUALLY NO.

I don’t ever base characters off real people. That’s always a weird concept to me. Like, I can’t even write fanfiction because my characters just…take on their own personalities. I can’t really copy someone else’s personality. Plus, my characters are like my unruly children, and it’d be awkward to have my child (who’s life I ruin on a daily basis) as some random person I know???

. . . used pop culture references in a story.

Very, very rarely! I basically write no contemporaries, so it’s kiiiinda hard to throw pop culture references into a, ya know, completely made up fantasy world. I feel like I may have done a couple of subtle ones before, but for the life of me I can’t think of any examples.

. . . written between the hours of 1am and 6am.

I did mention NaNoWriMo right??? Ehehehehe. Yes, NaNo spawns a looooootta late-nighters. And I always stay up on October 31st so I can start writing at midnight, and usually write until about 2 in the morning on those nights.

I’ve done it on non-NaNo months as well, but that basically never happens these days. I have become an old person and need my sleeeeep. My teenage self would be shocked at how I’ve shed my night owl ways.

. . . drank an entire pot of coffee while writing.

As much as coffee aids in keeping me alive, sadly, if I drink too much of it, it doesn’t settle well with me. I kinda get lightheaded. So, alas, I’m limited to only 2 cups a day. Although most days I actually only drink one. YEP. Shocking, but true. If things were different I’d so happily drink coffee alllllll day, but my body says no. PSH. >.>

I mean, I didn’t specify the size of my one cup a day.

. . . written down dreams to use in potential novels.

OH YES. SO MUCH YES. In fact, a novel idea that’s been plaguing me for a good three months now came from a dream and may very well be my NaNo novel for this year. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually written a novel based off a dream, but I’ve certainly gotten ideas from dreams and jotted them down.

On the flip side, I often have a dream and in the half awake, half asleep stage think it’s the most brilliant thing ever and I must remember it and write it down when I get up. Then I fully wake up and…realize it was RIDICULOUS??? and how did I ever believe that’d be a good story???

My subconscious always finds ideas much more fascinating than my fully alert self.

. . . published an unedited story on the internet / Wattpad / blog.

Well, my Faylinn stories probably aren’t ever as thoroughly edited as they should be… *cough, cough* I just never have tiiiime to give them the care they deserve. (They literally don’t even have  a proper series title. I just call them after the characters’ ship name???) And I’ve certainly shared some first draft snippets. But just a 100% unedited story? Not that I recall.

. . . procrastinated homework because I wanted to write.

Well, I was homeschooled so I didn’t really have “homework”. Just…school. And I was that annoying kid who liked to get all my schoolwork done first thing before anything else. So…not really?

. . . typed so long that my wrists hurt.

It’s weird, I always see writers say that their wrists hurt them after writing, but I’ve never experienced that? I don’t remember ever having wrist pain. Which I guess is a blessing!

Now back pain and sore eyes and headaches? Oooooh yes. Happens all. the. time.

Me after writing all day.

. . . spilled a drink on my laptop while writing.

THANK THE GOOD LORD NO. I usually have a strict policy of NO drinks on the same surface of any of my electronics. I won’t even set my phone on a table with drinks on it. Over paranoid? Probably. But I’ve never had any tragic spilled drink episodes, so I don’t plan on stoppin’!

. . . forgotten to save my work / draft.

I think this has only happened twice, that I can remember. The first time was when I wrote a short story yeeeears ago. I had started it (but thankfully didn’t get too far in) and somehow forgot to save it and had to start over.

The second time was during the first drafting stage of Burning Thorns. I don’t remember how it happened, but I had made good progress on a chapter and somehow lost all the progress I had made. So yep, had to restart that chapter completely over.

Thankfully, I’ve never lost entire stories. But I’m over paranoid with that as well. Whenever I finish a chapter of something, I save it in like five different places. AND I write everything in Dropbox, so it’s automatically being saved in a cloud. So…yeah. At this point, the whole internet would have to be erased and multiple computers entirely destroyed for me to lose any of my stories. XD Also, I now use Scrivener, which automatically saves the second you type ANYTHING. So no more having to obsessively smash ctr + s every 5 words anymore, woot, woot!

. . . finished a novel.

If we’re talking the first draft, many, many times! *tries to add it up* I think I’ve completed 16 first drafts of novels? I may be forgetting one or two from when I was younger… But thereabouts.

But if we’re talking finished finished. HA. Burning Thorns is the closest to that I’ve ever come. It’s at the querying stage now, which is far from finished, but the most polished thing I own. It’s been through a good five drafts at this point.

. . . laughed like an evil villain while writing a scene.

OH GRACIOUS.

You guys should probably be very, very concerned about how much I do this. Pretty much aaaany time I sit down to write/edit a particularly feelsy and/or action-y scene, I just grin wickedly at my laptop and cackle to myself. TRUE STORY. I probably look mad when I’m writing. I get such kicks out of writing those truly diabolic scenes. My favorite scenes to write are always the highly emotionally scarring ones.

It’s fine. Everything’s fine. I’m totally normal.

. . . cried while writing a scene.

To ease your minds that I’m not a complete heartless villain, I HAVE CRIED. Many times! I’ve never just out and out made myself bawl, but I definitely have gotten all emotional and teary-eyed.

Which are also my favorite scenes.

Ahem.

. . . created maps of my fictional worlds.

YES. I’m a super visual person, and maps help the progress so much. Especially if it’s a novel where the characters are traveling a lot. I gotta be able to visualize the land. My artistic skills are in the, erm, negatives, but it helps me to have a visual, anyway.

. . . researched something shady for a novel.

I feel like I’m the odd writer out when it comes to this. Somehow I haven’t researched anything too, too scandalous? But let’s remember I never research before writing, and I’ve written a lot of first drafts and not so many second drafts. Sooo I suspect I have a lot of shady things to research once I get around to revisions of certain books.

I’ve researched things like can a person survive without sunlight and how long canned goods can last. But yeah, nothing too odd. That I remember???

I think the most common thing I Google are the definitions of bunch of random words because I’m always scared I’m not using them correctly. Even though…I’m a writer… Yeah.

Well, there we have it, my elflings. Looks like I’m a true writer?? Being as how I was guilty of the majority of these???? I don’t know if to be proud or very, very worried…

Regardless, this was SO MUCH FUN!!! All the kudos to the brilliant soul who created this tag!

So let’s pass on this goodness!

TAGGING

Emily @ The Ones that Really Matter | Skye @ Ink Castles | Kate @ Story and Dark Chocolate | + anyone else who wants to join!

And no pressure whatsoever to anyone to participate! Strictly if you want to!

HERE ARE THE PROMPTS
(For copying and pasting purposes)

NEVER HAVE I EVER…

. . . started a novel that I did not finish.

. . . written a story completely by hand.

. . . changed tenses midway through a story.

. . . not researched anything before starting a story.

. . . changed my protagonist’s name halfway through a draft.

. . . written a story in a month or less.

. . . fallen asleep while writing.

. . . corrected someone’s grammar irl / online.

. . . yelled in all caps at myself in the middle of a novel.

. . . used “I’m writing” as an excuse.

. . . killed a character who was based on someone I know in real life.

. . . used pop culture references in a story.

. . . written between the hours of 1am and 6am.

. . . drank an entire pot of coffee while writing.

. . . written down dreams to use in potential novels.

. . . published an unedited story on the internet / Wattpad / blog.

. . . procrastinated homework because I wanted to write.

. . . typed so long that my wrists hurt.

. . . spilled a drink on my laptop while writing.

. . . forgotten to save my work / draft.

. . . finished a novel.

. . . laughed like an evil villain while writing a scene.

. . . cried while writing a scene.

. . . created maps of my fictional worlds.

. . . researched something shady for a novel.

LET’S TALK!

ALL RIGHT. Who here was zero percent surprised at my writerly confessions? XD Did you learn anything new? And PLEASE. Who else laughs maniacally while writing emotionally scarring scenes??? Surely I’m not the only monster. Now it’s YOUR turn to share all the writerly confessions! Bwahaha.