Found family—it is a highly popular trope…and may be considered overused at this point. But there is a reason it has become so huge and continues to be well-loved. And because I have Thoughts and Feelings on the subject, today I wanted to take a little bit of time to talk about it.
I don’t think it’s any secret that Found Family is my favorite trope of all time. My first full awareness of my deep-rooted love for it and realizing it actually had a title was ages back when I first discovered the TV series Leverage. That show about a bunch of criminals coming together and running heists to take down corrupt individuals Robin Hood-style is to this day one of my top favorite Found Family stories of all time. I think I always loved the trope, but it was Leverage that opened my eyes to the pure delight of it. A bunch of messed up strangers coming together to form a team, a family? AWK. It’s just so good! Gets me excited every time.
So what is it about these plotlines that just set my heart ablaze? I am glad you asked. (she says when she is the one asking and making this post no one requested) Grab your favorite beverage and let’s dive into it!
WHY I LOVE FOUND FAMILY
THE IMPORTANCE OF HUMAN CONNECTION
First, I have to say, family is one of the most beautiful things gifted to us on this earth, and I adore stories that show true, messy, powerful familial bonds. Just because I love Found Family doesn’t mean I believe we shouldn’t have stories portraying the importance of being there for the people given to us. I could write a whole post about that too, but I’ll try to stay on my actual topic. 😅
Blood family is a beautiful thing AND family by choice is also so very powerful. Choosing that deep human connection? Finding a person out in the big wide world and going full ride or die because you’ve chosen to love them and be there for them? *clutches heart* Such good stuff.
We live in a world teeming with people, and though we of course can’t know and help everyone, we are supposed to make connections. We’re meant to support those who come into our circles and make friends and show love. We’re not meant to be islands. And Found Family demonstrates that in such an incredible way.
Reaching out, connecting, choosing people even when it’s difficult? It’s so important and so moving. Found Family stories often show how hard it can be to work with and/or support people different from us. But, in the end, how meaningful putting in the effort and making connections is.
RELATIONSHIPS THAT AREN’T ROMANTIC
Okay. Let it be known I have nothing against romance. In fact, in the past couple of years, I’ve been writing more and more romance in my own stories. (I know, I don’t know who I’ve become either.) Romance is beautiful.
BUT.
The thing that always pricks at me is when relationships in fiction are solely romance. So often it feels like people forget there are…other types of relationships? Romance is great, but what about friendship? Bromances? Sisterly bonds? Mentors? On and on it goes. ALL types of relationships are important and wonderful. Romance is not the end-all, be-all of relationships in life.
My other pet peeve that often goes alongside this is when stories do start with a multitude of types of relationships, but once the romance comes in, all the other connections just…fizzle out and/or get drowned out by the romance. It drives me crazy when the two main characters get together and suddenly all the other people in their life don’t seem to matter that much anymore, all the wonderful friendships they’ve made fade out because the writer gets so obsessed with the romance side of things. (I get a little bitter, I apologize. 😅)
But in most (good) Found Family stories, this problem doesn’t happen. Yes, romances crop up amidst the motley crew, which is perfectly fine and natural, but everyone still holds tight to all the relationships amidst the group. None of the bonds get lost in the romantic plot. They’re all still a whole, and it highlights how wonderful all types of relationships can be.
Which segues right to…
THE VARIETY OF DYNAMICS
Found Family stories offer such a variety of relationships and dynamics amidst the characters. I’m always sad when a story has an ensemble cast but doesn’t take time to look at all the relationships between everyone, instead keeping it very limited to the obvious connections. But there is something so powerful and downright fun to see how all the characters connect, seeing what sorts of unexpected relationships crop up among unlikely pairs. Once more, showing that importance of human connection.
It also brings endless possibilities. We consume stories for the characters, right? For the relationships. And there are fewer things more fun in fiction than seeing how all the dynamics pan out in an ensemble cast. It can open up a world of interesting plotlines and unique, fascinating relationships.
The animated Avatar: The Last Airbender TV series is another story that really nailed this. It took time to let each of the characters know each other together and separately. It could have so easily stuck to the obvious pairings, but it didn’t. It branched out to allow for so many relationships to form among everyone, and, in the end, it made the team all that stronger because they had those individual relationships.
I just get so excited about all the unique, intriguing types of relationships to be found in ensemble casts that all form to make one epic team. It’s a huge tool in a writer’s toolbox.
LOVE
Finally, to bring all of this together…
The ultimate reason I love Found Family is because it is such a beautiful portrayal of the most important thing in the universe: Love.
The human connections, the variety of relationships—it’s all about love, in the end, and every kind of love. It’s proof that no matter our different backgrounds and personalities and struggles, love can still bring us together and create something beautiful. It’s messy and hard and complex and hurts sometimes. But choosing love is always, always worth it.
And before I wrap this up…
FAVORITE FOUND FAMILY BOOKS
I can’t go on and on about how amazing Found Family is and not share book recs! What kind of monster would I be? (I say as I wickedly grow your TBR pile. *smiles unrepentantly*)
(All links lead to GoodReads’ pages)
- THE CITY BETWEEN SERIES by W.R. Gingell // Urban fantasy, two fae and a vampire adopt a teenage girl as their pet, does a phenomenal job of exploring messy character dynamics and relationships and forming them into something healthy, heartbreaking and hilarious all at once, rather violent but otherwise pretty family-friendly, genuinely one of my favorite series in existence
- BEAUMONT AND BEASLEY SERIES by Kyle Robert Shultz // Fractured fairy tales in a 1920’s-esque setting, timey-wimey, laugh-out-loud funny, but also FEELS, just the most lively, delightful set of characters that come together to help fix and…make? disasters
- PIRATE HUNTER CHRONICLES by Sarah Rodecker and Helena George // PIRATES, an epic group of disaster children hunting pirates, talking ships and so many stabby weapons, fun and heartfelt
- THE ICARUS AFTERMATH by Arielle M. Bailey // Star Wars meets Greek mythology, big and complex but takes time to develop characters fully, get ready to cry, the epitome of an epic Found Family story
- THE LUNAR CHRONICLES by Marissa Meyer // Sci-fi fairy tales, does have a lot of romance but blessedly still takes time for all the characters to form just the best relationships, fun and dynamic and hyped for a reason
- HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE by Diana Wynne Jones // Did anyone expect me to make a book list and not include HMC on it?, whimsical and magical and delightful, drama king wizard Howl, no-nonsense Sophie, awkward disaster child Micheal, snarky fire demon Calcifer making for just the most ridiculous and unexpected and cozy found family, did I mention this is my favorite book ever?
- LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien // Because of course I have to add one of the OG Found Family stories! It’s Lord of the Rings. Need I say more?
And thus we come to the end of my shameless soapbox of the Found Family trope. Maybe it’s used a lot now, but it is a powerful storytelling tool and one that I believe resonates with all of us.
I, for one, hope it never dies out.
Tell me, friends, what are your thoughts on the Found Family trope? I love to hear any and all opinions! And what are your favorite Found Family stories (books, TV series, movies, etc.)? Gimme all the recs!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES to all of this! Found family is just…so incredibly special. I also love this trope dearly.
The Icarus Aftermath and the Pirate Hunter Chronicles have been on my TBR for FOREVER. And the rest of your list of found family books is just *chef’s kiss* perfect. I love all of those characters and stories so much.
Awwww! Yes! It makes me so happy to find others who love it too and see the importance of it. It’s just so beautiful and special, as you said.
Both of those are SO GOOD. (Though just a fair warning, there is some language on The Icarus Aftermath. Not too much, but the characters are very passionate people and sometimes they curse. 😅) But awk, yes, all SUCH good stories!
I was agreeing with you on all of this, but then you mentioned platonic relationships and I knew I was done for. There is something so amazing and deep about pure friendship that gets missed so often in stories. When did we forget that people can care for each other without that affection being romantic? I stick bromance in anywhere I can, because I am a shameless fan of it and I never see it enough, anywhere, ever. Not to mention the male-female friendship, which feels like the rarest of rare tropes some days. Finally, how dare you make me add more books to my TBR. That thing’s getting too big to handle.
YOU GET IT. Platonic friendships are spectacular, wonderful things and should be highlighted more in fiction. And BROMANCES. YASSS. MY FAVE. You can never, ever, ever go wrong with an epic bromance, and I am delighted to hear you use them all the time. We needs ALL of the bromances, pleaseandthankyou. But I, too, LOVE to see a good fully platonic male-female friendship. It really is woefully rare.
I make no apologies. *cackles and sinks back into the pit of my own endless TBR*
The enemies-to-bros pipeline is also a sacred trope that I will never grow tired of. What really grinds my gears in male-female friendships is when they throw in the “Surprise! They’re in love!” thing right at the very end, so you don’t even have time to be taken aback. Just let them be friends! For once!
I expected nothing less. Now pardon me while I go rent some spelunking gear so I can get to the bottom of my TBR. I hope I remember what it’s like down there.
Oh yissss. Enemies-to-bros is top tier. Aang and Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender, anyone?? We loves to see it.
Ugh. I am with you! It’s acceptable if there is a build-up, but just NOTHING and then suddenly kissing? Can we not?? Friendships are wonderful too, people!
*tries to throw down something helpful*
*accidentally throws down another book*
Uh…good luck! 😅
Especially when they make an effort to still hate each other, like neither of them want to realize they’re whupped and best buds now. 😂
I do sort of get the appeal of “we were in love all this time and didn’t even know it”; it’s sweet. Like, you were so comfortable around this person, falling for them felt so natural, that you never noticed. But there’s that and then there’s cheap romantic jump scares.
Ah, so that’s how you manage to evade all the people whose TBR piles you’ve exponentially expanded! To be honest, a trail of books leading suspiciously into the distance would absolutely distract me. I’m the first to die in a horror movie.
Absolutely YES. It’s just too, too fun!
I agree with that! I am ALL about slowburn romances and friends-to-lovers is so sweet. No shame in those at all–they’re meaningful. But yes, when there is nothing to foreshadow it, that’s when I get grumpy. XD
Whoops… I showed my hand. *tosses another book your way and vanishes*
Aaahh I love this post so much! From LOTR to Leverage to A:TLA, yaaas! So many great found family stories especially in your book rec section yes (though I still need to read Winter, and the Pirate Hunter Chronicles which my brother is enjoying but I still need to actually start)! Those really dynamic casts where we get all the different relationships and especially when people don’t get along but finally become friends enough they’d die for each other…and then sometimes you have the “kids” and the “parent” type characters (like in Leverage. XD) and just…yes! Then throw in some mentors and some buddy stories in there and I’m all in. I love all your thoughts in here! I’ve always enjoyed the motley-crew-on-a-quest adventure type of story but I’ve also really started appreciating when it’s a group just together doing their thing like in HMC or Leverage, not even on a quest just really coming together. And all the juicy relationships. It can be fun when there’s even a romance in there too, but yes, give me aaall of the found-family relationships.
*BEAMS* I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I just had a sudden need to flail about my favorite trope. XD
Just YES to all of this. I adore it when the Found Family unit takes on roles like some are the parents and others the kids (just like Leverage). It’s so funny! But then there are other wonderful dynamics and just MEEP. It gets me all excited! And I agree, a motley crew on an adventure is so fun but so is just random people coming together and becoming a family just because. It ALL makes me happy!