I feel like the last week of December is a peaceful, fun time, as we’re enjoying that final bits of Christmas without the bustle of getting ready for Christmas. A time to take a moment to cling to the last remnants of the year, before school and work and life take over once more. But then January 1st hits and it’s like the lulling roll of the train screeches to a sudden halt and you must leap out with the crowd and run, run, run or you’ll be behind, the whole year will be ruined, everyone will be ahead of you.

That’s how it felt like for me this year. Usually, I take all of December off from writing, and a lot of other things, and enjoy a good break before diving into a new set of goals come the new year. But this particular December, though fantastic in many ways, ended up being pretty stressful, and did not prove to be the laidback, gloriously lazy month I had planned. First of all, the whole first week was spent finishing my NaNo novel in a flurry of (way too many) words. So I really didn’t even get started on my December break until the second week. Secondly, because NaNo took up like…every waking second of my November, I was woefully unprepared for Christmas and suddenly it was almost here and I had next to no gifts for anyone. So the next couple of weeks of December were spent in a rush getting all the Christmas-y things done. Really, all the last three months of 2018 proved to be pretty stressful and tiring.

Then, next thing I knew, 2018 was over. New Year’s hit, and my social media feeds were exploding with messages of “start the year strong” and people diving straight into huge projects, writing thousands of words in a day, reorganizing everything they owned, making gorgeous journals with their entire year planned out. And I’m sitting over here like…can I just take a nap?

Usually, I love New Year’s. The idea of a clean slate, of new possibilities, of unknown adventures ahead, new goals to write down and work toward—it thrills me! But this year? When January 1st hit, instead of excited, I was depressed and overwhelmed. I was not ready for my December break to be over. I did not feel refreshed, had no motivation, and hadn’t even thought of my 2019 goals.

I kind of poked around at things, tried to be productive, but I wasn’t feeling it. But but but it was the NEW YEAR. I had to jump right into things. The year goes by so FAST. I didn’t want to waste a single second. If I didn’t jump on a giant year to-do list that second, I’d be a failure. Right?

*DEEP BREATH*

The answer: No. There was no sense in trying to force everything on myself at once, when I wasn’t even sure what all I wanted to accomplish this year. When good sense finally returned to my thick skull, I decided there would be no harm in taking just one more week off. Just because so many others were being ultra productive that first week of the year, DID NOT MEAN I had to. We all work at our own pace, have our own limits. I was falling into that toxic comparison game, like I so often do, and just stressing myself out for NO REASON.

So I took another week off. And it’s amazing what just seven days of no pressure to be productive can do for the mind. Instead of forcing goals on myself, I subconsciously started figuring out exactly what needed to be accomplished this year. Instead of trying to squeeze out social media/blogging content and hating doing it, I started to itch to get back into the social media world. Instead of never having any desire to touch a single one of my stories ever again, I began to desperately miss them. As a result, once the week was over, I was raring to go, was able to sit down and make a list of 2019 goals in no time, slap out a blog post, and get prepped for editing Burning Thorns.

Because here’s the thing: You really DON’T have to hit the year running. After all, New Year’s is just a week after Christmas. And maybe you had a stressful holiday, maybe you need a little holiday from your holidays. Maybe you need some time to recover from the Christmas craziness, some time to mull over your year and make plans, before diving straight into doing ALL THE THINGS.

I think we have in our heads (or at least I know I do!) that we’re going to get woefully behind on all our plans if we don’t get a jumpstart on them the second the calendar changes to a new year. Because a year goes by so FAST. And it feels like there’s just not enough TIME. Ever.

But you know what? If you start the year burned out, how are you going to keep going for the next 365 days? That’s what I was about to do. After heavily plotting NaNo during all of October, doing NaNo in November and through part of December, and then running around like a headless chicken trying to get things prepped for Christmas, I was TIRED. I was in no way ready to jump on a ginormous list of goals. 2018 was a craaaazy and productive year. I used up every ounce of creativity I had.

I needed rest. But wouldn’t I be wasting time if I didn’t get started on things right away? Actually, no. Starting 2019 already burned out creatively would be wasting the entire year. A year spent creatively drained would be a way bigger waste then taking 7 measly days out of 365 to refuel myself.

Here we are over halfway through January already, and you may be stressed out because the first month of the year is almost over, and you haven’t gotten a good start on your goals. Maybe you’re wondering how it’s all going to get done. Maybe you feel like a failure because it seems like everyone else is already marking things off their list of goals, and you haven’t even touched yours. Maybe haven’t even made year goals yet.

STOP. Stop worrying and stressing and comparing. I’m here to tell you IT’S OKAY. I give you 100% permission to take a breath, release the guilt.

I know it feels like the years fly by, and yes, we’re already past halfway in January, but you know what? There’s 11 months after this one. And countless more years ahead. YOU HAVE TIME. It does not have to be done at once. I’ve been falling back into Stressful Mode^TM myself because I haven’t accomplished everything I had hoped to by this point. But does that mean it won’t get done? NO. There is time. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, THERE IS.

Whether you’ve attacked your goals with full force, haven’t touched them yet, or maybe haven’t even made a list of goals, there is NO NEED for guilt. Don’t make the mistake I almost did and burn yourself out before the year really even gets started. We’ve got lots of amazing months ahead. Let’s not waste them stressing.

Back in 2017, I really learned to SOAK UP THE MOMENTS. And I think it’s a lesson I need to relearn. Not every moment in life is meant to be spent being productive. I’m a perfectionist and a workaholic, which results in soooo much of my life spent in front of my laptop getting All The Things done. But sometimes taking time to read a book or watch a movie with my siblings is 1000x more important than getting a blog post written. It’s something I have to remind myself again and again and again. And as we set foot in this new year, I’m, once more, trying to drill it into my thick skull.

Yes, I have a lot of ambitions for 2019. But I also don’t want to waste the moments. To miss out on precious times with the people I love or just letting myself take a breath for the sake of scratching something off my to-do list. I am far too often enslaved to those to-do lists, to the superficial things in life, instead of the things that truly matter.

If you’re like me, and have those to-do lists cracking their whips at you, or have guilt eating away as each day of the new year passes without it being spent in hours of productivity, let it all go. Shove the to-do list in the closet, take a breath, and know THERE IS TIME. Instead of hitting the year running, take a leisurely walk into 2019.

Give yourself grace and take your time. I promise you’ll be glad you did.

TALK WITH ME!