So you’re a fairy tale character, eh? And Valentine’s Day is just around the corner which, of course, means it’s time to get out there and find your One True Love. But how does one of Fairy Tale Land go about doing such a thing?

There are, of course, many approaches to finding your True Love. But if you’re feeling stumped, never fear, my fine fairy tale friend! Today I come to you with a list of 7 tried and true methods to finding the love of your life and living happily ever after. Here in Fairy Tale Land these techniques have never gone afoul. Many a couple is now living in pure happily ever after bliss by following these steps, and you can too, just in time for Valentine’s!

So settle in, O’ quester of the heart, and let’s find the best method to discovering your One True Love.

BECOME CURSED

One surefire way to find your soul mate is to go out there and get yourself cursed. There are princes, princesses, and peasants alike who would all jump at the chance to break the curse of someone they just met and promptly marry them right after. It’s the natural order of things. And the good news is, being as how you live in Fairy Tale Land, the world is simply brimming with witches who would happily cast you a big ol’ curse. Usually it just takes being more beautiful than them (and they’re all hideous, so no worries on that) or, ya know, just existing in their general vicinity. Or if you have a wicked stepmother who is a sorceress (which is a high probability), you don’t even have to leave home to make it happen! The bad news is, well, you may be cursed for a while. I hear tell of some curses lasting a good hundred years. So perhaps you won’t be with your love in time for this Valentine’s but…eventually. And hey, it’s totally worth it because the person who stumbles upon you and uncurses you will be your One True Love. It’s science.

LEAVE YOUR SHOE LYING AROUND

Now, I know departing with beloved footwear can be a tragedy but DON’T WORRY, you will get it back, and a handsome prince to come with it. Shiny shoes and a prince—it’s a great packaged deal.

This task usually involves attending a ball of some sort and acquiring a fairy godmother OR your dear departed mother sending you gifts magically from the grave. But since you live in Fairy Tale Land, you probably have one or both of these already at hand. Once you attend the ball, just leave your shoe lying around and BOOM! the workings of True Love will begin cranking into place like magic. (Because, of course, True Love is magic.) The prince will scour the whole world to find the person whose foot fits the shoe (because everyone knows no two girls’ feet are alike) and eventually he’ll end up on your doorstep. Just be sure to have some Febreze on hand, because that shoe has been on the foot of pretty much every single girl in the whole kingdom. Not sure how sanitary this quest is, but hey, you do what you got to do.

I hear leaving behind other such items such as rings can work too, though aren’t as popular, so tread carefully in this endeavor.

STUDY RIDDLES

“Now how can studying riddles help me find my True Love?” you may be asking. WELL. It happens more frequently than you might think. There is a high number of kings out there who will give their child’s hand in marriage to those who can solve some riddles. So get out your book of riddles and start studying, because OF COURSE the second you lay eyes on this royal child you will be madly in love and do anything to gain their hand in marriage. Even if the rules state that if you fail you will be beheaded. But pffft. Who pays attention to the rules anyway?

Side Note: You may also be challenged to accomplish some seemingly impossible tasks to win this person’s hand in marriage. But no fear. Being the kind fairy tale protagonist you are, you’ve befriended all sorts of animals who will help you accomplish these tasks in a snap. Because apparently animals can do anything. Literally…anything.

BEFRIEND ALL THE ANIMALS

While we’re on the subject of befriending animals, this is another great way to stumble upon your True Love. Remember, there are a lot (I mean, a lot) of curses floating around Fairy Tale Land. Chances are, your True Love has been cursed themselves, and there is an even higher chance that they’ve been cursed into some sort of animal. Of course, being as how every single animal in the world can just so happen to talk and no one ever actually explains that they’re cursed until the curse is broken, you can’t just go around inquiring to animals if they happen to be a prince/princess cursed as a deer or bull or bear or bird or other such thing. That, of course, goes against all basic social standards. Instead, you’ll have to put a bit of work in and befriend all the animals in the land, even the fish. But don’t worry. There is a high chance that the very first animal you stumble into will be your One True Love in disguise.

Oh, also, if all else fails just go around and kiss every frog you come across. You’d be shocked to know how many of them are actually princes.

BE THE YOUNGEST CHILD

Obviously, this doesn’t work for everyone, but if you’re one of the lucky ones in Fairy Tale Land who was born the youngest your path to One True Love is already set in stone. You may have to put up with a wicked stepmother, go off on a dangerous journey to find your fortune, and deal with two jealous, murderous older siblings, but that’s all right. Somewhere along the way you’ll find your True Love and live Happily Ever After. It’s just the way of things.

GO RESCUING

Perhaps you’re more of an adventurous type and would like a bit of excitement on the quest to find True Love. Well, are you in luck! As we’ve discussed, there is just an absolute plethora of cursed individuals out there who need your help. But ALSO the number of kidnappings (whether it be from a band of thieves, a dragon, a wicked sorceress, a multi-headed troll, or a bloodthirsty king) is skyrocketing in Fairy Tale Land. So grab your sword, perhaps a magical item or two, and a talking animal companion if you’ve got one, and go off a’rescuin’. Never mind if you’re just a peasant who’s never even touched a blade before. When the time comes, you’ll find your strength and be able to behead the fiend(s) who has your True-Love-you-only-just-met in captivity. That’s how True Love works, after all.

JUST LOOK AT A PERSON

On the flipside, maybe you’re tired and prefer not to battle a nine-headed troll. That’s perfectly understandable. We all have those days. Don’t worry a thing about it. Because Fairy Tale Land is filled to the brim with single men and ladies. So just…walk out your door and make eye contact with one, especially if they’re royal (there are plenty of those around as well). Chances are you will both fall in love at first sight and live happily ever after the end. Because everyone knows the second you lay eyes on “the most beautiful person in all the land” you will be madly in love and want to marry one another instantly and live in peace and happiness for all of your days. That’s just how it works.

And there we have it. The most tried and true ways to finding your True Love!

OKAY, OKAY. I really couldn’t help myself, guys. I hope you didn’t mind a little tongue-in-cheek fairy tale humor. *grins*

If you missed it, over on Fairy Tale Central we are doing a big fairy tale celebration for the whole month of February! (We’ll also be doing a fun giveaway day on the 23rd. Check out THIS POST for details on our plans for the month.) Being as how Valentine’s Day is this weekend, I thought it’d be fun to do a fairy tale Valentine’s themed post as part of the fairy tale celebrations this month. Because, after all, what’s a fairy tale without finding one’s One True Love (that they only just met) by the end of things? And seriously, if you’ve read any fairy tales collections, you will find these themes in absolutely all of them. It cracks me up. Ah, fairy tale logic. It’s just the best.

You may also like:
10 Valentine’s Date Idea For the Fantasy Dwellers

SO. Add to my list here! What other ways can a protagonist of Fairy Tale Land acquire their One True Love?

I totally want to know: If you were a fairy tale protagonist, which of these methods would you prefer to find your soul mate? (I think I’d most enjoy befriending all the talking animals one. But, alas, as a middle child my hope for a happily ever after in Fairy Tale Land is pretty much doomed.) And do add to my list!